Caregiving is a rewarding experience for those who enjoy caring for others. As a career it is rewarding and as a helpful choice by a loved one, it is an act of love. Both of these are noble means to care for someone who is no longer able to care for themselves, but it does come with some stressful drawbacks that can lead to personal issues and that is due to the nature of the work that they are doing.
There will come a time when your loved one is gone, and you will find comfort in the fact that you were their caregiver.
Karen Coetzer
What is anticipatory grief?
Anticipatory grief is a complex psychological aspect of a caregiver’s emotional status during the period of a terminal illness of a patient or loved one, and is one of those stressful drawbacks of working in this field. This form of grief is characterized as a type of grieving in which the individual begins the mourning of the present and future before the patient has reached the end of their life. This is something that happens in both hospital/hospice settings during palliative care, and in homes when loved ones care for their ailing family member or friend during the end-of-life stages of their illnesses. This anticipatory grief is similar to grieving the loss of a loved one but happens in the time before the loss occurs, and can cause an excess of uncomfortable symptoms such as headaches, heightened anxiety, insomnia, depression and brain fog. This is common in normal grief as well, however, studies show that these more physical symptoms occur earlier when someone is acting as a caregiver to someone with a terminal illness.
What is caregiver burnout?
Caregivers can suffer from burnout (a state of mental, physical and emotional exhaustion not relieved by a good night’s sleep) due to dealing with these emotions during the caring processes because the heightened anxiety and depression leading to physical symptoms can drain the individual to a point in which they are giving so much to their patient or loved one that they are beginning to do less caring for themselves overall. The reason this tends to happen is that caregivers generally begin to feel hopeless and a vicious cycle of wishing they could do more, doing more, and then over-exerting themselves to care for their loved one – leads to this burnout period.
How can I help a loved one with burnout?
There are ways that burnout can be avoided, but most often burnout happens before the carers themselves begin to take action in their well-being. Helping someone who is dealing with caregiver burnout and anticipatory grief is possible, and generally takes one-on-one support and respite care to help them get back to a place where they are feeling rested and mentally/emotionally capable of caregiving once again.
Is there professional support for anticipatory grief?
For a caregiver suffering from anticipatory grief, a great source of information and support can be located at a hospice or palliative care center where this type of grief is commonly found among workers. These institutions themselves can offer help for caregivers such as providing short-term respite care for their loved ones or providing long-term care in an environment where the caregiver can stay for longer visits themselves. There is also the option to hire a professional caregiver to offer relief on an as-needed basis. For someone who isn’t quite ready to sign their loved one up for hospice care, it is still advisable to have them go into these settings to learn more about the process and meet with some of the grief counselors onsite.
There are a lot of things that can be tailored to help a caregiver who is suffering from anticipatory grief or burnout, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to the variety of unique challenges that families will face. However, with the right support there is a way to provide comfort, care, and rest to those who are working hard to care for their patients and loved ones.
Hello! I’m Jessica, a mental health advocate and support worker from British Columbia, Canada, with a decade of experience in the field. My work spans substance abuse care and mental health, where I strive to foster safe spaces for sharing and healing. I specialize in addiction, anxiety, trauma, and grief, believing that with empathy, compassion, and community support, we can guide each other through life’s darkest moments. Together, we’re never alone.
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