Coping with Grief Triggers in Everyday Life

Have you ever been in the middle of something and suddenly felt overwhelmed with sadness? You were washing dishes, and then, out of nowhere, it hit you. These are called grief triggers. 

Grief triggers have a way of showing up in our everyday lives when we least expect it. Losing someone can cause us to feel intense waves of sadness during everyday routine tasks, like cleaning, cooking a meal, or even brushing our teeth. This is a natural reaction to loss, and although painful, there are many ways we can help ourselves through it.

Allow Yourself To Feel

Anger, sadness, frustration, numbness, and shock, are all normal reactions to grief. But to process these intense emotions, you have to permit yourself to let your feelings flow.

It is natural if you feel like you want to hold back. We often believe that avoiding our emotions will shield us from more pain. But the truth is, that suppressing your feelings can prolong the grieving process. 

Prioritize Self-Care

When faced with grief it can be difficult to keep up with self-care. But, taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally can help you manage your grief triggers more easily. 

The best self-care activities that you can do to cope with grief are those that bring you joy and comfort. 

Here are a few ideas on how you can practice self-care:

Add Movement To Your Day

Add movement to your day: Focus on gentle movement that feels good for you. Light walks, stretching, or gardening are all examples of movement that you can do to get more activity in your day. 

Practice mindfulness or meditation:

Mindfulness practices can make it easier for you to cope with intense feelings by helping you to build your emotional resilience over time. While not an immediate fix, practicing mindfulness can help you better prepare for moments when you feel triggered or overwhelmed. 

Be Patient With Yourself

Grief changes us. It is always okay to take all the time you need. 

In the early days of my grief, even basic tasks like checking the mail felt too overwhelming for me. I struggled for months and felt frustrated when I couldn’t participate in the social activities with friends that I normally loved to do. But, I learned that I had to give myself time. 

So, be patient with yourself and trust the process.

Seek Support From Friends and Family

Coping with grief triggers can feel isolating. You may be feeling anxious about what may happen if you are triggered while socializing. However, connecting with others can help you feel more supported and cope better with grief triggers.

Plan For Holidays and Special Events

For many of us, holidays and other special events can bring back memories of our loved ones and trigger our grief response. This is normal and there are ways we can support ourselves with these grief triggers too. 

Be sure to mark your calendar for the days that you feel like you may need a little extra support. This will better prepare you by helping you to recognize a grief trigger before it occurs.

Create A Support Plan

When triggers happen you may feel overwhelmed or unsure of where to turn. It’s helpful to have a plan in place to help you cope.

One way to create a support plan is to make a list of supportive people to contact. This can be a trusted friend, a family member, or even a counselor. Whichever you choose, let them know how they can best support you. Even a phone call with a loved one can make a difference.

Also, think about the types of exercises or activities that feel the most calming for you and try them out the next time you feel overwhelmed. For example, listening to a song is a popular way many people self-soothe.

Others find that the breathing exercise known as the “5-4-3-2-1 technique” can help. 

According to Psych Central, you can do this exercise by first finding your breath and then list out:

• 5 things you see
• 4 things you feel
• 3 things you hear
• 2 things you smell
• 1 thing you taste

This breathing exercise can help you center and calm yourself during heightened moments of stress. 

Seek Professional Help

If you are feeling concerned or overwhelmed with grief triggers it may be worthwhile to consider talking with a mental health professional. Grief is a process and it can be hard to navigate alone. A licensed professional can help you learn how to use helpful coping strategies to process your grief. 

Whichever way you choose to seek support is valid. What is important is to be patient with yourself and allow yourself the time and space you need to heal. Over time you will be able to enjoy life again and still cherish the memories of your loved one.