When discussing sorrow, two words are commonly mentioned: empathy and sympathy. Even though sympathy is a widely known concept, empathy is not as familiar to most people.
Sympathy involves feeling sorry for someone and appreciating not being in the same position as that individual. For example, when we sympathize with someone mourning, we feel compassion for their situation and appreciation for not experiencing the same sorrow or loss.
In contrast, empathy is defined by our level of compassion and understanding for someone who is grieving. It is the capacity to empathize with someone as they navigate a loss or tragedy and to be able to relate to their circumstances as though they were our own.
In today’s current high-speed culture, many individuals have entirely disregarded the notion of empathy. We have become so preoccupied with comparing ourselves to others, from looks to jobs, homes, families, and lifestyles that we have overlooked the importance of showing kindness, consideration, and compassion toward others.
It is expected that someone grieving desires empathy; however, grief can enhance your empathy in everyday situations and life as well. Grief is a great teacher and can help us understand the genuine significance of showing empathy towards others.
Expressing Empathy During Grief: A Forgotten Concept
If you’ve ever been in a situation where you had to express or receive condolences, you may have noticed that the situation often becomes very awkward and uncomfortable. The comforting words offered appear to be hollow and redundant. Why? Because we’ve forgotten the art of emotional intelligence, aka empathy.
What has made us this way? Expressing our feelings can be seen as a sign of weakness and vulnerability. By restricting our emotional spectrum, we distance ourselves from our true emotions resulting in feelings of confusion, irritability, frustration, and insecurity. Hence, we not only disengage from our own emotions and sentiments, but we shun our moral compass from relating to the feelings and grievances of others as well.
How Grief Teaches Us Empathy
It can be frustrating when others lack empathy, especially when you’re feeling emotionally down. Nevertheless, remember this: seek solace and forgiveness from within yourself rather than expecting empathy from others.
This implies that those we seek empathy from have not experienced what you have, so they may not comprehend the strong emotions you are going through. Instead of getting frustrated, show yourself compassion and empathy – prioritize your emotional health.
Start observing yourself through an emotional intelligence exercise. Ask yourself why you feel what you’re feeling. Look at how you react and the results your reaction brings. You may be feeling a mix of emotions including guilt – feeling that if you move on, you’ll leave your loss behind. With time, you’ll find that the emotions aren’t as confusing or frustrating as they once seemed, because you can now see them and understand them from within.
Final Thoughts: Finding Your Way to Emotional Intelligence through Grief
Once you acknowledge and come to terms with your own emotions as you grieve, you’ll find yourself better understanding what empathy means. Being empathetic during grief means listening without interruption, offering minimal suggestions, and just letting the other person vent their sorrow.
Having awoken your emotional intelligence, you’ll find your empathetic abilities are more aware and attuned, and you can offer consideration and compassion when others need it the most. Whether it is someone coping with a loss, a friend who’s lost their job, or a relative whose relationship just ended, you’ll be more aware of your inner emotions and will be able to offer more relatable and considerate advice rather than hollow reassurances.
As a pharmacist and mental health professional, I’ve navigated through the depths of depression, understanding its complexities firsthand. My journey as a chronic caregiver for my mother, who battled irreversible heart failure, has illuminated the profound realities of caregiving and loss. These experiences have deepened my empathy and underscored the crucial need for support in times of grief, caregiving, and profound loss.
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