A man walking with his dog on a peaceful, tree-lined path in autumn, symbolizing companionship and the support needed when grieving the loss of a pet.

How to Help a Friend Grieving a Pet


Losing a pet is like losing a family member. It’s a tough experience that can leave people feeling lost, alone, and completely heartbroken. It’s important to remember that grief doesn’t discriminate. It hurts just as much whether you’ve lost a pet or a human loved one. 


As a friend of mine shared, “Grief is all the same. Pet or human, the loss hurts the same. If you care, it hurts.” Losing a pet can be incredibly painful, and you might find yourself wondering how to best support your friend during this time. 


Here are five ways to help a friend grieving a pet:

1. Listen without judgment


One of the most important things you can do for someone grieving the loss of a pet is to simply listen and validate their feelings. Let them share their feelings and memories without interruption or judgment. Avoid offering unsolicited advice or minimizing their pain with phrases like “it was just a pet” or “you can get another one.” These comments can be hurtful and dismissive. Instead, focus on actively listening and offering empathy. Reflecting back on what they say can help them feel heard. For example, you could say, “It sounds like you’re really missing them.” or “I can tell how much your pet meant to you.” 


2. Share memories


When they are ready, sharing memories can be a powerful way to honor your friend’s pet’s life. For example, I once shared photos of my friend’s cat with her, which helped her remember how much healthier her pet had become since leaving the shelter. Seeing the weight gain and improved condition was a powerful reminder of the loving care she’d provided. If your friend is open to it, sharing memories like photos can be a kind way to keep their pet’s memory alive. 

3. Offer to help


Grief can be overwhelming, making it difficult to handle everyday tasks. Offering to help can be a huge help to a friend who is struggling with pet loss. For example, your friend might be avoiding having guests over because they’re unable to keep up with housekeeping or have had difficulty making arrangements for their pet’s belongings. Helping with household chores, running errands, or even cooking (or ordering) meals for your friend can help lighten their load during this challenging time. Although this isn’t an ongoing fix, it can help in the beginning stages of grief when your friend may need extra support. 


4. Share support resources


Sometimes, the weight of grief can feel overwhelming, even when surrounded by supportive friends and family. In these moments, connecting with a wider community of understanding can be incredibly helpful. There are many resources available to help people cope with pet loss, like support groups, online forums, and hotlines.


One readily available free resource is the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, which offers support 24/7 for people experiencing an emotional crisis or in distress. They can be a lifeline for anyone struggling with intense emotions, including pet loss grief. You can find more information and connect with a crisis counselor here: https://988lifeline.org/.  


A friend recently shared how a chat hotline offered comfort during a difficult time. She felt lost and didn’t know where to turn, but the hotline provided a safe space to talk openly about her grief. She felt it was helpful to speak with a trained professional who could offer guidance and support. Outside of hotlines and chats, virtual and in-person professional support from licensed therapists specializing in pet loss grief is now widely accessible. Exploring support options together can be a helpful next step as your friend begins to process their grief.


Note: Healing often happens within a community. You can be part of that community, but it’s essential to avoid overextending yourself while trying to be a supportive friend. If you or your friend feel overwhelmed with how to move forward, you can gently suggest these resources.


5. Avoid asking about getting another pet


A gentle way to show respect and understanding for your friend’s grieving process is by avoiding questions about getting another pet. These questions, even if well-intentioned, can feel dismissive and hurtful. Instead, focus on offering support and understanding. 


Use statements like:

  • “I’m here for you, whenever you need me.”
  • “Would you like to talk about your pet?”
  • “How can I best support you right now?”


Grief is a unique experience for everyone. It’s okay if you don’t understand what your friend is going through. If your friend is coping with the loss of a pet, your support and presence are the most important things you can offer.